Hello, hello!
In the past few days, we've been given the opportunity to consider bringing home a young man who needs hospice care. He is our profile child, in other words, the kind of kiddo we would naturally gravitate towards and not feel off balance caring for.
But, we've had to say no.
We still have the triplets, who are marvelous little beings but almost 18 months now and requiring huge amounts of energy and care. We have been told repeatedly in the past 11 months that they would be going home "soon".
In the Princess Bride, one of the characters uses the word "inconceivable" time and again and finally Inigo Montoya looks at him and says, " You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means". "Soon" does not mean what we thought it did.
We were ready set to have the babies go home with their mom permanently the day before Thanksgiving but received a call yesterday telling us the decision is not settled for all parties involved.
We've readied our hearts to say goodbye time and again in the past year, and been relieved, and grieved it was going to happen.
Well Salcherts, take a breath, there is no firm date in sight yet and we'll have to stay steady for a while longer.!!
We will be carrying on simply because that is what is necessary for their best interests.
These babies are not our profile kind of child simply because they're incredibly mobile!!!
It is not a mistake that we took them in and that we have them yet. The whole family has benefitted from them being with us. Our social worker was blown away the other day. She was chatting with me and watching while Charity took care of feeding, diapering and getting all three boys loaded into car seats to take Andrew to Campus Life with no assistance from me. Not because I was ignoring Charity's plight but because my 21-year-old was handling the responsibility like a total champ. And the reason she put them in car seats for the ride was to keep them contained and occupied for 45 minutes. It was a way to take a break from chasing them around and keeping them out of trouble, haha.
Saturday evening I was trying to make supper and the babies were climbing up my legs and pulling my pants down with their efforts. The girls took them and kept them busy while I continued to peel potatoes with Charlie sitting in a bean bag on the kitchen counter keeping me company.
Note to self: do not wear elastic waist jammies if not able to sit down and hold or play with all three boys. You will be inadvertently disrobed.
Charlie is doing fantastic and I had him to the GI doc this week. He's lost too much weight because he's been wanting to be off the vent and tolerating it well, whoo hoo! This means he's burning more calories than he's taking in and needed an increase in his formula. A good problem to have and quite frankly, since he was sent home last year at this time expected to pass away, the fact that he's progressed to being able to handle being off the ventilator to watch a football game is borderline miraculous :)
I sat in my van last night and prayed very hard for the young boy in the hospital that we're not going to be able to bring home right now. Having the triplets yet makes it a "no" to taking him in but God is gracious to us sometimes and when we're not absolutely sure what to do, He makes it plain by saying "yes" or definitely "no" and sometimes, "wait".
Having our household so full at this point helps us know what to do in the short term.
I have since found a friend and a fellow nurse who is a licensed foster care family who's offered to speak with her social worker and inquire about taking the boy home on hospice, to their home. They've not ever done this but she's inspired and motivated to do so! How wonderful is that!
We are not the saviors of the world and at the same time, not afraid God is going to ruin us by bringing children into our home that we're not able to care for competently. Now! that doesn't mean our family hasn't been stretched and looked like Swiss cheese in the process of bringing each and every biological child and adopted and foster kiddo home. But where He calls, He also enables. I know this up close and quite personal!
Not being in a place where we had the manpower to care for this other child helped solidify our desire to have Mark retire in February when he turns 62-years-old. His favorite thing is to putz around at the house and hang out with the kids here. He's fully embraced the children we have and the ones who could potentially come and live with us. With him freed from a full-time job outside our home, we'd have increased capacity and ability to continue to give 24/7 care to Charlie as well as other children who are medically fragile/terminal.
Plans are in motion to eliminate all the debt we possibly can and not take on any more. We "need" a van that is handicapped accessible but God will provide some way without our taking on a new loan.
I had hesitated 18 months ago about adopting Charlie knowing we couldn't afford many of the things required to keep him long term. He coded so many times that those needs were a moot point. And now here we are with him settled in and thriving. But God is not a tease and didn't set us up for failure or with a desire to make us look or feel stupid. We were relieved of concerns about equipping our home or a vehicle to continue to care for Charlie and moved forward in full confidence that adopting him was in everyone's best interest especially Charlie's.
I told our palliative care doc a few months ago when I felt much heavier about the responsibility of caring for this buddy but not having the means to do it readily apparent, "Did I miss something? Was I just obtuse and not understanding he was going to live and not die?"
He reassured me I was not and that no one had expected him to live for very long. I sucked in a long breath and looked at Jack and said, "I do think, even if I had known what all was coming down the road in this past year and all the unknowns we're facing ahead of us, that I still would have suited up and played the game."
He nodded and simply said "Yes. You would have."
It makes me tearful, but not as fearful to know no matter what happens, my God is good and He is faithful. Our faith in God and Him telling us that He hasn't given us a spirit of fear about now, or the future, is just information until you're put in a place where your life depends on it.
Our Johanna is home from Baan Jai Dee for a couple of months. I took her to the doctor yesterday. She's down to about 88 pounds. It appears she has wildlife in her gut aka parasites which are eating her food and not letting her have the nutritional benefit. Tests have been ordered to find out what in particular is residing in her GI tract. The doctor told us it would take about 6 months to straighten her out. She's leaving again in Jan so we have 2 months to do what can be done and then she'll roll from there once she's home again (which is how she refers to where she lives in Chiang Mai. She's 23 years old and I'm not going to discourage her from returning to Thailand. She believes that's where God has her and the 21 children she's caring for in that place are worth the sacrifices she's made on all fronts, lice, parasites, evil bacteria notwithstanding. She's tiny but man, this woman is brave and a hero.
Okay, the babies are awake and I've got to move!!
No comments:
Post a Comment