Mount up with wings like eagles ~

One way I have found not to go crazy when life doesn't fit into a nice neat package is to remember times it was exactly like this in the past. Did things work out? Did I lose my mind? (Not entirely or I wouldn't be able to type this. I will not say there wasn't some brain damage that occurred in the process, however). My greatest ability to calm myself is to remember how God has provided for me in the past.

I received a request Thursday night at 11 p.m. for me to answer a number of questions detailing our journey through my illness, bringing Emmalynn home, and now how we're caring for Charlie. The deadline to have the questions answered in full was noon on Friday.
I laughed. Then wanted to cry.
I have 8 children at home right now.
All of them need me in one fashion or another.
Weekends we typically do not have an LPN to assist us with Charlie's cares. He has to be attended to 24/7 as his status can change very quickly from being just dandy to disastrous.
The triplets are 9 months old and everything must be done for them.

Yesterday, I thought perhaps I had a block of time but then Charlie was dropping his oxygen sats. His secretions were filling up his lungs. He had to be suctioned to attempt to clear his airway. I was holding the buddy and singing to him and he pooped in my arms and it went all up his back......yup, an outfit change and a bedding change and his heart rate was so fast he could have possibly gone into cardiac arrest. Hmmmm.
I'm not lighthearted about how fragile he is.
He needed me present last evening, not up in the office madly typing away on my laptop.
When I lie down next to him, or hold him on my lap, it's as if this sense of peace comes over me. Charlie isn't anxious about much of anything. He's doing his thing day by day and we're looking forward to Heaven for him.
He's not sweating the small stuff.
When I'm with him and telling him about Heaven and blessing his heart/hurting his ears with my singing, it's a reality check.
Deadlines are deadlines but are really not all that deadly. If it doesn't get done, hello, it doesn't get done.
I'm called at this point in time to loving care for my child and that means I give him the gift of presence. He, like Emmalynn, does not need me busy. He needs me close by.

Today........

As of Sunday night at 8 p.m. not a dang thing had been accomplished on the writing front.
I went to bed last night and prayed, "God, if this is what You want, then you're going to have to make it happen. I do not want to make my family miserable because I'm chafing at their ever  present needs when I personally am torn between caring for them and all the rest of this. If the enemy of my soul is not wanting me to be able to answer these media requests to give the reason for the HOPE that lies within me, then knock him out of the way. If this is simply my own personal agenda, then please, make that clear too, because there's not enough time for me to pursue selfish desires."

I woke up this morning and had a full day ahead with a journey to Milwaukee to Children's planned in it. But, the child who needed to go to the doctor wasn't feeling okay for other reasons and the appt. was cancelled and made for another day and time.
This suddenly free'd up my entire morning to hole up and answer the multitude of questions being asked and demanded by today.

I recently finished reading the book Through the Eyes of a Lion by Levi Lusko borrowed to me by one of my best friends, Mary.
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/through-the-eyes-of-a-lion-levi-lusko/1120808711

It's a valuable book for anyone and everyone!
One chapter which has resonated is his encouragement to call on the Holy Spirit to come rescue us like the Eagles did in the Lord of the Rings. The hobbits or Gandalph couldn't have been in more impossible situations but the Eagle came at just the right moment and they were carried off to safety and help and comfort. Levi draws a parallel between the Holy Spirit enabling us to mount up with wings like eagles, to run and not grow weary and walk and not faint, with calling on God to help us in the same way as depicted in LOTR.

I did that last evening. With men this deadline to get everything done I needed to do was impossible, but with God all things are possible. There was no immediate human solution to my time dilemma. Over and over again in my life however, I've been given opportunity to Trust God for the biggest things and the littlest aggravations.

My daughter is going to be fine, the not feeling well this morning will soon pass. And I would never have planned for her to be unable to attend her doctor's appt in Milwaukee. But that's the way God provided the extra block of time I needed. He answered my prayers that He's in this. He is for me. He loves me. It's hard, it's difficult and it doesn't come easily, but He wants our story of faith in living out our HOPE in Him to redeem the messiest situations to be told.

People is still moving forward with our story to be on newsstands on Wed. Nancy Reagan's life coming to pass here on earth almost bumped it but not quite. With potentially 90 million people reading about our journey with Emmalynn and Charlie, that many more people will have the opportunity to hear about our God and faith in Christ. He is our Rock and Shield and a very present help in time of trouble!

We're hanging onto our hats! Life as we know it is going to get even more wild ~