My gift ~

Several years ago, I was standing in the kitchen singing at the top of my lungs. I had an iPod plugged into my ears and for me, I was doing a beautiful job. For those who couldn't hear the music, it was terrible. My husband came walking through the house and asked me to remove the ear buds.
"Honey, you're blessing my heart with your enthusiasm but you're hurting my ears."
I snapped back, "You know?! If I put on some weight and didn't color my hair, I could look just like Susan Boyle."
"Yes," he said, "But you can't sing. And that's kind of like being Rainman and no good at math."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk


I love football, but my 130 pound physique would be a grease spot on the field should somebody like BJ Raji decide to mow me down. Shoot, a guy half his size could permanently mangle my body with one tackle. While I have to be as tenacious as Eddie Lacy in trying to get through the *game* I face everyday here at home, I've not been given the talent or body to play football.

I found out at my 50th birthday party, I'm not the athlete I thought I was. One of my dearest friends told everyone present that only reason I was any good at volleyball was because I played on a clergy league at the YMCA. The mean age was 65 and most of the players have bad hips, backs, knees, etc. The reason I was any good at all was the arthritis factor in most of the other players.  Somehow I'd never taken stock of my talent by looking at the guys with whom I was playing the game!

I've come to the realization that I don't have a bucket of talents. I don't sing, dance, or play sports well. I'm not a great cook. Martha Stewart isn't my middle name. I bake food on a cookie sheet and toss it on the table on the same pan mostly because my children prefer not to have to wash any extra dishes, though it might help with the presentation to put the food on a clean platter. Bah! On a regular day to day basis, that's too much work.

I'm not a beauty queen.
I was told, honestly, "You're alright, but it's not like you're going to win a beauty contest." My mother in law was sitting with me and looking at pictures. She mentioned I looked pretty good in one of them. I said, "Yeah, I know." (which by the way, would be a standard husband comeback)
Mama looked at me and said, "Well, you're not that good looking."
I know that too  =)

Reality check........I am not going to be able to be anything I want to be simply because you've got to have some kind of raw material to work with and I come up quite short or totally void of giftedness in the areas where I would love to excel.

One thing I'm dang good at, however, is caring for little people, babies who are healthy or otherwise. I'm 50 and still haven't mastered the art of changing a diaper as just yesterday, one of my little men whizzed all over my shirt and pants because I wasn't quite quick enough.
But, for the most part, I am  *A baby whisperer*.
This talent will not earn me a paycheck. But, my hope is that the investment of my love and energy and time and steadiness and predictability for them, will help them learn to love and trust well as they move on into their futures.

I am a hick. I wear blue jeans, old t-shirts which are stained and I don't care because at some point in my day they'll have spit up, or drool, or possibly poop schmeared on them and not be unstained for long. I wear little to no make-up. I've stolen my husband's old tube socks and they have holes in the part which should rest on my calves but are continually falling down in a pile at my ankles, so I hike them back up where they stay for a nano-second before descending again. I have 2 pairs of tennis shoes which are broken in to create *slip-ons* so I don't have to bother with lacing them each time.

I am not all that sweet. I am not amazing. I'm doing the best I can day to day to provide a home for my family. And we've been privileged to have a few other kiddos who needed us for a time to make sure they had the basic stuff in life. A place to sleep, food to eat, a safe place to play, and arms to hold them and plenty of love.

Being able to give an answer for the hope that lies within me has happened once again in our local paper today.
http://www.sheboyganpress.com/story/news/local/2016/03/13/sheboygan-mom-hospice-babies-opens-up/81703808/

I am able to love people with my whole heart who are not biologically my own.
That's my talent. That's my gift.